Every picture tells a story
Who is it that designs passport photo machines?
Do you think they make them so that you always look corpse-like and grotesque on purpose? I’m not particularly photogenic anyway – my chin is slightly lopsided, and one eye is slightly lower than the other. You can’t notice it normally but in photos it becomes glaringly obvious that I am descended from Quasimodo.
Passport photo machines are the worst. They suck you in, promise you a gleaming, attractive photo of yourself to be stored in the most important document you will ever own, and then they produce something that will make people smirk every single time over the next ten years that you have to hand your passport over.
I actually tried to smile in this one, as I thought it might look friendlier. My mother is always trying to get me to smile in photos, but I look like a lunatic, and I always seem to have my eyes closed the moment the shutter clicks, so I normally just try to look enigmatic.
Anyway, I don’t think I will ever smile in a passport photo machine again. The lines! The lines I never knew were there! My smile was a crazed rictus on a strange misshapen skull, topped off by a wild tangle of hair. God. I’m not sure I will ever recover.
Does anyone else suffer this trauma? I’m going to go and check in the mirror that I'm still me, then I'm going to have a stiff cup of tea and another chocolate biscuit.
Do you think they make them so that you always look corpse-like and grotesque on purpose? I’m not particularly photogenic anyway – my chin is slightly lopsided, and one eye is slightly lower than the other. You can’t notice it normally but in photos it becomes glaringly obvious that I am descended from Quasimodo.
Passport photo machines are the worst. They suck you in, promise you a gleaming, attractive photo of yourself to be stored in the most important document you will ever own, and then they produce something that will make people smirk every single time over the next ten years that you have to hand your passport over.
I actually tried to smile in this one, as I thought it might look friendlier. My mother is always trying to get me to smile in photos, but I look like a lunatic, and I always seem to have my eyes closed the moment the shutter clicks, so I normally just try to look enigmatic.
Anyway, I don’t think I will ever smile in a passport photo machine again. The lines! The lines I never knew were there! My smile was a crazed rictus on a strange misshapen skull, topped off by a wild tangle of hair. God. I’m not sure I will ever recover.
Does anyone else suffer this trauma? I’m going to go and check in the mirror that I'm still me, then I'm going to have a stiff cup of tea and another chocolate biscuit.
posted by Rachie at 11:29 AM
